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Author
Publisher
Running Press
Pub. Date
2008
Formats
Description
Ever wonder what Santa does with all those letters? (And all those cookies?) After a particularly long, cold night staring at nine smelly reindeer butts, the old man lets loose with the real answers to those stupid, whiny, hard-to-read letters from kids. Turns out, we really do get what we deserve.
Dear Billy,
I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behavior for the entire past year rather than the activities...
Dear Billy,
I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behavior for the entire past year rather than the activities...
Author
Publisher
F+W Media
Pub. Date
2012
Formats
Description
Ever stop and think, Everyone is just so awesome?
Didn't think so.
It's just a fact—most people aren't. But that doesn't stop them from thinking that they are. And that shouldn't stop you from mocking them. In fact, it should just encourage you.
Here's your thumbs up to giving the thumbs down to everyone and everything that's far from awesome and, really, just plain awful.
Author
Publisher
Hachette Books
Pub. Date
2007
Formats
Description
Ah, the sweet memories of Christmas. Gifts under the tree. Cookies for Santa. And, of course, the annual fruitcake.
For young David Valdes Greenwood, the indomitable “little fruitcake” at the center of these tales, nothing is sweeter than the promise of the holidays. A modern-day Tiny Tim, he holds fast to his ideal of what Christmas should be, despite the huge odds against him: Sub-zero Maine winters. A host of eccentric
...Author
Publisher
Gibbs Smith
Pub. Date
2011
Formats
Description
Women will laugh out loud at the jokes and one-liners in I'm Still a Hot Babe, but Now It Comes in Flashes. Loaded with quips on everything from menopause to mammograms, pregnancy to PMS, this book makes the perfect gift for women everywhere.
Author
Formats
Description
In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses...
Author
Formats
Description
New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster takes you from sorority house to penthouse to poorhouse in her hilarious memoir of living the sweet life—until real life kicked her to the curb.
She had the perfect man, the perfect job—hell, she had the perfect life—and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally...
She had the perfect man, the perfect job—hell, she had the perfect life—and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally...
Author
Description
An anthology of bark-out-loud original essays about dogs from some of today's most popular writers.
Critically acclaimed memoirist Wade Rouse has gathered some of America's best known humorists- authors, comedians, and actors-to offer biting commentary on what it means to share a life, and a heart, with a dog. From battling for bed space to trying to transform a pampered NYC pup into a Texas rawhide, and from helping a shelter rescue navigate
...Author
Pub. Date
2017
Formats
Description
“Whitney Cummings has written a book about being, well, not fine—and what to do when you find yourself with brutal anxiety and a co-dependency disorder; all in her trademark wit, humor, and honesty. This book, however, is fine as hell.”—Sophia Amoruso, author of #Girlboss
“The funniest cry for help you'll read this year.”—BJ Novak
Well, well, well. Look at you, ogling my...
“The funniest cry for help you'll read this year.”—BJ Novak
Well, well, well. Look at you, ogling my...
Author
Description
"Bill Bryson, bestselling author of A Short History of Nearly Everything, takes us on a head-to-toe tour of the marvel that is the human body. As compulsively readable as it is comprehensive, this is Bryson at his very best, a must-read owner's manual for everybody. Bill Bryson once again proves himself to be an incomparable companion as he guides us through the human body--how it functions, its remarkable ability to heal itself, and (unfortunately)...
Author
Series
Publisher
Candlewick Press
Pub. Date
2013
Formats
Description
They don't call him Stink for nothing! Now kids can savor a smorgasbord of facts about smelly and vile stuff in honor of their favorite super sniffer.
Did you know that a group of skunks is called a stench? (No lie!) Can you believe that in colonial days, window-washing rags were dipped in pee? Or that snail slime was once an ingredient in cough syrup? Stink has a nose for yuck and muck, and this book is full of it: moose
Author
Publisher
Penguin Publishing Group
Pub. Date
2018
Formats
Description
An honest, funny, neurotic, and totally gross love child of Mindy Kaling and Mary Roach.
Mara Altman's volatile and apprehensive relationship with her body has led her to wonder about a lot of stuff over the years. Like, who decided that women shouldn't have body hair? And how sweaty is too sweaty? Also, why is breast cleavage sexy but camel toe revolting? Isn't it all just cleavage? These questions and others like them have led to the comforting...
Mara Altman's volatile and apprehensive relationship with her body has led her to wonder about a lot of stuff over the years. Like, who decided that women shouldn't have body hair? And how sweaty is too sweaty? Also, why is breast cleavage sexy but camel toe revolting? Isn't it all just cleavage? These questions and others like them have led to the comforting...
12) Me the People: One Man's Selfless Quest to Rewrite the Constitution of the United States of America
Author
Publisher
Random House Publishing Group
Pub. Date
2012
Formats
Description
The United States Constitution promised a More Perfect Union. It’s a shame no one bothered to write a more perfect Constitution—one that didn’t trigger more than two centuries of arguments about what the darn thing actually says.
Until now.
Perfection is at hand. A new, improved Constitution is here. And you are holding it.
But first, some historical context: In the eighteenth...
Until now.
Perfection is at hand. A new, improved Constitution is here. And you are holding it.
But first, some historical context: In the eighteenth...
Author
Pub. Date
2010
Formats
Description
Jeff reveals the 16 key attitudes about money--and life--that allow the cheapskates next door to live happy, comfortable, debt-free lives while spending only a fraction of what most Americans spend. Also features dozens of original "Cheap Shots"--quick, money saving tips that could save you more than $25,000 in a single year!
14) Holidays
Author
Publisher
Chronicle Books LLC
Pub. Date
2011
Description
Turkey on fire? No plans for New Year's Eve? Obnoxious relatives headed your way? The authors of the best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are here to help you survive the dangers of the holiday season, from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. Learn how to rescue someone stuck in a chimney, survive the office holiday party, and escape a runaway parade balloon. Expertly deal with a meddling parent, silence a group of carolers, and treat...
Author
Formats
Description
The author of Don’t Whiz on an Electric Fence and When I Am an Old Coot spreads some down-home, hard-won, gut-busting facts.
Dishing out witty one-liners and old-fashioned country logic the same way an old camp cook dishes out beans and biscuits, Roy English’s Advice from a Country Farmer is simply this—no-nonsense humor and wisdom from a country gentleman...
Dishing out witty one-liners and old-fashioned country logic the same way an old camp cook dishes out beans and biscuits, Roy English’s Advice from a Country Farmer is simply this—no-nonsense humor and wisdom from a country gentleman...
Author
Formats
Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“I’ve changed a bit since high school. Back then I said no to using and selling drugs. I washed on a normal basis and still had good credit.”
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends—and that’s before she...
“I’ve changed a bit since high school. Back then I said no to using and selling drugs. I washed on a normal basis and still had good credit.”
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends—and that’s before she...
Author
Description
Farms have fences. People have boundaries. Mine began crumbling the day I knelt behind a male sheep, reached between his legs, and squeezed his testicles. This took place one blustery November day when I joined other shepherd-wannabes for a class on the basics of raising sheep. I was there with my partner Melissa, the woman I'd lived with for 12 years, because we were going to start a farm. When self-confessed "urban bookworm" Catherine Friend's partner...
Author
Publisher
Algonquin Books
Pub. Date
2007
Formats
Description
Bill Alexander had no idea that his simple dream of having a vegetable garden and small orchard in his backyard would lead him into life-and-death battles with groundhogs, webworms, weeds, and weather; midnight expeditions in the dead of winter to dig up fresh thyme; and skirmishes with neighbors who feed the vermin (i.e., deer). Not to mention the vacations that had to be planned around the harvest, the near electrocution of the tree man, the limitations...
Author
Description
About 60,000 years ago, the first Homo sapiens were just beginning their move across the grasslands and up the ladder of civilization. Everything since then, as they say, is history. Just in case you were sleeping in class that day, the geniuses at mental_floss magazine have put together a hilarious (and historically accurate) primer on everything you need to know—and that means the good stuff.
Twelve core chapters...
Twelve core chapters...
20) Out of My Mind
Author
Publisher
PublicAffairs
Pub. Date
2007
Formats
Description
Every Sunday evening, millions of viewers tune in to 60 Minutes to hear Andy Rooney riff on everything from coffee percolators to the state of the union. Millions more read his weekly newspaper column. Why? Because Rooney tells it like it is. But Rooney fans have never seen him quite like this. Andy Rooney is plain frustrated by what's going on in America and the world. Why can't Americans — let alone our president — speak English anymore?...
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